These two night weeks, make that three once we tape on a third night, have been exhausting! Here’s hoping that next week brings us four hours of straight beach-front drama and none of this studio segment business.

This week kicks off with the Christen/Jasmine/Matt love triangle. So many things on this show that you never thought would be a thing, but here we are. Matt has a great time – there’s a connection. Sparks! Back at the resort, Jasmine’s a ticking time bomb, just waiting to hop on and mount Matt the second he returns. Sadly not an exaggeration at all. And our most solid couple of them all has their first spat. During a conversation, Derek up and tells Taylor to F off – which she takes about as good as you’d expect (not that we fault her.) This leaves us to wonder IS ANYONE SAFE? Raven makes her play for Adam. It’s clear that Adam really sees more of a relationship with Sarah and Dean more of a relationship with Kristina, but you just know neither of them are going to let that dictate their choice here.

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Before we get to the rose ceremony, Matt decides to peace out. He realizes he’s honestly not that into either Jasmine or Christen and this drama? Not really what I think he wants. All of the sudden Jack Stone becomes the hot commodity – and it’s looking pretty unfortunate that our favorite sha-dolphin decided to try to stick a dead crab in his mouth this week (of all weeks.)

Jackstone

We started off the week with a rose ceremony. What? You forgot those are even a thing? Yeah, us too. We’ve watched 6 hours of BIP and only been rewarded with two sad rose ceremonies. TWO! ABC, we deserve more from you for the time we’re putting in here. Before we get to see how this plays out, our favorite inappropriate Canadian makes his entrance. Daniel is back and he’s as inappropriate as ever. It’s easy to forget just how inappropriate he can be until he opens his mouth – and then you’re instantly reminded.

Daniel

Daniel gets to give out a rose. Yay! More ladies get to stay. But then wait. Matt is back… to stay? No. Just to give Jasmine a rose. So nice of him, right? Jasmine has nothing for him. She’s over it. Bye boy. Byeeeeee.

Jasmine

Continuing our trend of “OMG am I going home?” to “I can’t decide, I’m a hot commodity” we see a love triangle shape up with Christen, who surprise surprise does not go home, Jack Stone and Jonathan.  Did you ever think we’d be talking about the Tickle Monster in the context of love? Me neither. Apparently the ladies are extremely attracted to the fact that he’s a doctor. The drinking game of the night was definitely every mention of “doctor” – because there were maaaaaany.

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After dragging his feet to give her the rose earlier, Daniel decides to take Lacey on the date with him. He is so uncomplimentary of her (starting with referring to all of the ladies as “scraps” upon his arrival), but she is totally eating it up. They come back from the date and are wrapped up making out – and Jasmine decides that’s the ideal to come in and steal Daniel away. Does no one say no to this move on these shows???

We then are pulled back into the studio, where it’s part mini-reunion and part Corinne sit down. We walked away from this doubting the validity of that whole Danielle M/Wells kiss (not happy about this). That’s about all we got. The sit down with Corinne left us a bit, let’s say confused. For more on the details, below you can listen to this week’s episode below on Soundcloud. It’s also available on iTunes and Stitcher.

 

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Matt said no thanks to that triangle. As I’m sure most of us suspected, Matt Munson (AKA that penguin guy) bowed out this week to get himself outta that love triangle. “I [told] producers, ‘I would like to leave, but they [Jasmine and Christen] have to stay — that’s the only way I’m going.’” He went on to say, “She [Jasmine] knew that I had thought about leaving on a daily basis. So for her to say, ‘I never knew he wanted to leave’ … I know for sure that she knew that, which I kind of find strange — but it is what it is.”

Nick & Vanessa = Splits. Last week’s big news came late enough that feels like a fallout here is still appropriate. Nick and Vanessa have officially called it quits. We aren’t entirely surprised but we did think they’d hang on a bit longer. If you missed it, we talked about it a bit in last week’s podcast (Soundcloud / iTunes / Stitcher.)

The worst is not past us. If you think that we are past the roughest patches (and you probably don’t based on the promos), think again. On this week’s “Almost Famous” podcast, Ashley I and Ben H confirm there’s more less-than-flattering footage of Dean that’s still to come. Brace yourselves for next week’s 4 hours…

Bachelor Watch 2018 Continues. BIP has become such an anomaly with all these interviews with current contestants popping up before their exit. We were surprised to see this story with DLo pop up sharing her POV on Dean as Bachelor. Doesn’t say too much about the likelihood of him ending up with her, nor this overall trend of backlash against him making it likely that he will be our next bachelor. Oh yeah – Jasmine agrees too. Nick Viall back yet again? Don’t hold your breath. This article confirms he’s not so into that idea. If you really want to hear the latest rumblings from the rumor mill, hop over to Reality Steve’s Twitter feed here.

Daniel wants to entertain you – naturally on Instagram. This is how he’s commemorating kicking off his return. Not quite sure where he can go from here, but we’re sure it will be … something.

The Bachelor family is growing yet again! Emily Maynard announced that she’s pregnant with baby #4. Will have to wait to see if it’ll be a boy or girl this time around.

 

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